Waiting...

There are a few things I am learning patience through... additional patience, I might add, because I feel like I'm already pretty patient. Some things I'm waiting for:

• Right now I'm literally waiting for Lucy to wake up. 
• Tonight we're staying at Ashley Candler's and that should be really fun. Lucy's such a flexible playmate; she hasn't seen a lot of her playmate here in months, but she just jumps in and befriends them like she plays with them everyday.
• I'm just waiting to go home... I've enjoyed my stay in paradise for the week, but that's a long time to not see Adam, the dirty pile of dishes, the laundry that needs to be folded on the couch. Plus I'm SO done with these dogs. It's not that any one is bad, I am just done with having 4 at a time.
• I also want to go home because of all the stuff I've ordered that is probably just sitting on my front porch: new glasses, new proactiv, sports caps for our klean kanteens, a tent for Lucy, hopefully Lucy's birthday present (yes, a month late).
• 8 more days until our little mini vacay.
• I can't wait for our tax return! We plan to pay off our credit card and hopefully NEVER use it again.
• I lied: I will be using the credit card again but just to buy a round trip ticket to see my sister in Huntington Beach.
• Janessa's baby should be here in 2 months and I can't wait!
• I'm ready for our family to expand and this is probably what's testing my patience the most.
• I can't wait to get paid again. I found some cute clothes that I want.
• I'm excited for our birthday's. I know what I want and I'm pretty sure I know what I'm going to get Adam.
• I'm looking forward to the new season of Dexter, and the next DVD of Breaking Bad. 
• While I love living in Susanville, after being in Paradise for the week, I'm looking forward to the potential to living closer to convenient amenities: Costco, Trader Joes, family. I'm so GLAD we work for USFS because they'll pack us up and move us to where ever Adam gets transferred. I'm just not anxious to move, but I know it is kinda inevitable. I guess I don't want to think about it as much because I've made such GOOD/GREAT friends in Susanville and I LOVE their kids.

Whell......I guess I better go. Lucy's up and I have to go beat the dogs. Just kidding...

Norah's Adoption

As I mentioned a few posts ago, the daughter of my friend who passes away is going to be adopted by my friends sister and brother-in-law, Jenni and Brett Goodlin. While this will take about a year, it will also take funds. The Pampered Chef is sponsoring a fundraiser to help aid in these funds. 30% of sales placed on my website will go directly to the Goodlins.
To support this adoption process, visit www.pamperedchef.biz/ashleylefebvre
Click SHOP ONLINE
Enter Nora's Adoption as the organization name
Shop for your favorite kitchen items and be sure to have them directly shipped to you
Please feel free to comment with your questions.

A Heart of Order

This morning I woke up after 3 lovely days off (we had Dr. appointments in Chico so we went to visit family and stayed an extra day for sanity), to my alarm reminding me that I had to go back to the real world. I rose to find my glasses, flattened my fuzz of a hairball head, got the fire going, and walked through the kitchen to my office. Dishes were undone, stuff was cluttered on the kitchen table, paperwork strewn across my desk. A minute version of chaos--but one that I felt could wait until later, I had to teach.

As I was waiting for my second student to show up, I updated myself on everyone else's blog (i.e. Kait built forts as a kid, Lynae had creative song writing skills that I never new about, and most people are still reeling for the death of Carrisa). One blog I read occasionally is called Passionate Homemaking. I occasionally read this blog because while I love being a stay at home mom, baking bread and finding green alternatives for make-it-yourself beauty products is not something I want to waste spend my time doing. But the photo on my blog dashboard caught my eye and caused me to read the post titled Understanding the Heart of Order.

How I miss Eden. I've obviously never been there, but how my heart longs for the joy of the life we have been given on Earth AND the joy of having an intimate relationship with God.

I've always had an admiration for people who are "Longing for Heaven" but have never felt it myself. I don't long to leave Earth. While I am at peace with the fact that life does come to an end and there is something much greater afterward, I have not longed to leave. Maybe because I am in good health, my child is healthy, and my relationships are healthy. Health... hmmmmm.

I do have physical health. My my heart is very ill. I am a killer, a hater, a judge, a glutton, a spiteful person. I definitely need healing from these malicious cancers.

But I do not need to wait for healing! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones that my cancer can be cured! Trust me, it keeps coming back, but the blood of Jesus Christ makes it go away like it was never there.
Eden. Orderly. Serene. It's such a bummer that we screwed that up. I love this world (not everything in it) but what God has created in it and what he has given me in it!

I wanted to insert an anecdotal little comic about Eden, but they were all stupid, so this is what you get.

Anywho.. this is supposed to be about the heart of order just as God created the Earth with order. It has give me a new charge to be a little more orderly. Ok, a lot more orderly, but baby steps, right?

Photo Updates

I knew I was behind on posting photos, but I just realized that the last time I posted a photo of Lucy was from Halloween... so here you go!

 

Just Chillin with Daddy-O

Lucy's first sleep over at Micah and Kayla's (1/1/11)

 Bowling in the New Year with the guys

 Uncle Matty and Daddy

 Lucy's 2nd Birthday

And now that they're all uploaded they're all out of sequence, so good luck figuring it out. Blasted blogger.

2011

It's a new month, a new year, a new decade, a new week, and just 3 hours away from a new day.

This is perfect timing for a new post following my last one, which was dismal, hopeless, disappointed, sad.

This is perfect timing because I just read a friends blog which contained such good news! As I mentioned in the last post I mentioned the death of a dear friend, Carrisa, who left behind her grieving friends, a family in pain, and an 18 month old daughter. Carrisa was in many ways the glue that held Adam and I close to our Paradise friends--sending us birthday packages, making sure to invite us to parties. Carrisa's death upset me in many ways, but in the celebration of her passing and meeting her Jesus, self-pity set in when I realized I wasn't a very good friend in return. This is the ONLY photo I have of me with Carrisa, and of course it's the whole group of us and this was taken over 6 or 7 years ago.

To quote my friend Lynae (probably the one taking the photo above) "The weight of life that makes us forget to be friends. But then death reminds us to be friends again." It sucks that Carrisa's death has made me realize, I haven't taken the time to be in more photos--which represent memories--sharing priceless moment with friends and people I love.

But we're obviously not to the good news yet! First bit of good news is, I'm vowing to be a better friend, to share more memories. AND I'm choosing to be happy!

Second bit of happy news is about Norah! So many exclamation points because I'm so so happy! Read here. What a joyful answer to prayer!

2 days in and 2011 is beginning to look a lot less bleak. In our darkest moments God DOES answer prayer, but we have to remember that it may not be the answer we are looking for and it most definitely won't be in the timing we are expecting. AND we have to be willing to listen.