I really don't know how people do it. 5 kids, 10 kids, multiples... I've been having a hard time imagining how I'll handle things when I just have 2!
Lucy has always been a pretty easy child: relatively compliant, no health problems... When she turned two, I was expecting the worse with the "terrible twos" but she never really entered that stage... until now. I really though that by waiting to have a second baby after Lucy was 3, that I would have perfect timing and I wouldn't have to deal with the terrible twos at the same time as having a newborn. Well, common consensus has been that threes are worse... why didn't anyone tell me this a year ago? Why on God's green earth do they call it the terrible twos, then? *sigh*
Well, Lucy's attitude is what's getting the best of me and I'm struggling to be consistent in the way I handle it. I want to nip it in the bud, but her will is stronger than mine. When I struggle I really wonder "how the h*ll am I going to juggle two kids?" One was SO easy. And in just 18 short weeks, I'll have 2--one three-year-old, flat out telling me no when I ask her to do something, and one newborn, helpless and needy and demanding every ounce of my attention.
I know Adam will be available those first few days as will my mom, and that should help. But I'm freaking out a little realizing that soon, I'll have to do it on my own and I don't know what to expect!
These realizations make me feel horrible. Because deep down, I think, I shouldn't have had another kid. It's not about who my kids are, but more about who I AM and I'm not sure I can do it. I watch mothers who have it all together and their kids are obedient and little joys and while Lucy is a joy, she's not obedient all of the time and I worry that her defiance will become stronger as I need it to be weaker.
Being pregnant with these realizations also make me feel like I'm the only terrible mother who's ever questioned her choice of having another baby. I feel like these are things I should have really thought about and considered BEFORE getting pregnant! Too late. I'm screwed.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
October Update
I've been very out of the habit of posting photos and updates on our lives so I'm going to make more of an effort and especially when the new baby gets here.
Which is a great intro into our October Update blog post. I'm 21 weeks now and feeling OH-SO-better. It's amazing what a couple of weeks can do. I just can't believe I have 18 more weeks to go! Seems like forever. BUT I have the holidays to sustain me... Halloween's in a week, Thanksgiving's in a month (it'll be at our house this year, yay!), and we start to decorate for Christmas December 1 (my best friend from grade school's birthday!). After Christmas is Lucy's 3rd birthday, her party will be in the beginning of January and "Princess Pirate" themed (at her request). Then I have a little down time in January and February to nest and settle and spend our last few weeks as a family of three.
I've been meaning to schedule a photo session for just the three of us. We have NEVER had a family photo taken. I know, I'm so bad. Well, I really want one before baby #2 gets here! So hopefully I can get that together in the next week or so.
We've had a lot of fun this month. In the beginning of the month we went to Chico to meet the Bryson's new baby Emilee. So sweet and tiny! She's perfect! We also celebrated Gramma Marian's birthday at the Chinese Buffet which made this pregnant momma VERY happy. I got to go on a women's retreat the next weekend with my friend Janessa and it was a nice time away to reflect on my relationship with Christ and just relax with no whiny kids, no house cleaning, no bills, no cerfew! Last weekend we went to the Pumpkin Patch with our friends from Oroville, Logan and Robin Wilson, and their two precious sons, Cason and Hunter. The kids had so much fun playing and searching for pumpkins and it's always nice to connect with my friend Robin (of over 20 years!).
Amid all the playing we had a couple doctors appointments... one very important Dr. appointment was our ultrasound to find out the gender of our little growing baby. Adam and I had decided from day one that we would be happy with whatever sex the baby ended up being, leaning back and forth between our preference; a girl would be "easy" because we already know what we're doing and we have a ton of girl stuff left over, plus they'd be sharing a room; a boy would be fun because it would be new and exciting and then we'd have one of each. As the weeks went on, Adam was more convinced it was a girl, and I was more convinced it was a boy. I even referred to it as "him." Well, the ultrasound revealed that "he" was a "she." Yes, we are having another girl and are overjoyed! We will name her Lydia Jane.
October is coming to an end and hopefully I'll get some photos up soon of the Pumpkin Patch and a precious photo of our Lydia's profile. Stay tuned!
Which is a great intro into our October Update blog post. I'm 21 weeks now and feeling OH-SO-better. It's amazing what a couple of weeks can do. I just can't believe I have 18 more weeks to go! Seems like forever. BUT I have the holidays to sustain me... Halloween's in a week, Thanksgiving's in a month (it'll be at our house this year, yay!), and we start to decorate for Christmas December 1 (my best friend from grade school's birthday!). After Christmas is Lucy's 3rd birthday, her party will be in the beginning of January and "Princess Pirate" themed (at her request). Then I have a little down time in January and February to nest and settle and spend our last few weeks as a family of three.
I've been meaning to schedule a photo session for just the three of us. We have NEVER had a family photo taken. I know, I'm so bad. Well, I really want one before baby #2 gets here! So hopefully I can get that together in the next week or so.
We've had a lot of fun this month. In the beginning of the month we went to Chico to meet the Bryson's new baby Emilee. So sweet and tiny! She's perfect! We also celebrated Gramma Marian's birthday at the Chinese Buffet which made this pregnant momma VERY happy. I got to go on a women's retreat the next weekend with my friend Janessa and it was a nice time away to reflect on my relationship with Christ and just relax with no whiny kids, no house cleaning, no bills, no cerfew! Last weekend we went to the Pumpkin Patch with our friends from Oroville, Logan and Robin Wilson, and their two precious sons, Cason and Hunter. The kids had so much fun playing and searching for pumpkins and it's always nice to connect with my friend Robin (of over 20 years!).
Amid all the playing we had a couple doctors appointments... one very important Dr. appointment was our ultrasound to find out the gender of our little growing baby. Adam and I had decided from day one that we would be happy with whatever sex the baby ended up being, leaning back and forth between our preference; a girl would be "easy" because we already know what we're doing and we have a ton of girl stuff left over, plus they'd be sharing a room; a boy would be fun because it would be new and exciting and then we'd have one of each. As the weeks went on, Adam was more convinced it was a girl, and I was more convinced it was a boy. I even referred to it as "him." Well, the ultrasound revealed that "he" was a "she." Yes, we are having another girl and are overjoyed! We will name her Lydia Jane.
October is coming to an end and hopefully I'll get some photos up soon of the Pumpkin Patch and a precious photo of our Lydia's profile. Stay tuned!
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