Two month sabbatical

It's been over two months since my last post. And of course my last post was just a photo to announce that we're expecting again. I've been holding off on writing for a few reasons, none really valid, other than the fact that I've been really tired and this will make my 100th post. I guess I felt like it should hold some significance...

So while there may not be any kind of ultra significance to this post, it's time for an update!
We are expecting Lefebvre #4 in March 2012. This baby is much anticipated as we tried for nearly a year. This is my 4th pregnancy overall (we had two miscarriages before Lucy joined us), so I've been very nervous about this pregnancy and honestly "waiting for the other shoe to drop." We got pregnant at a time when I had almost given up and was rather surprised when we got a positive test. It's almost like I was unprepared--and so I felt pretty out of control. Which I am anyways, right? Who really has control over their unborn child? Ha, even their living breathing children!?

I've felt way more tired with this pregnancy and even had stronger bouts of morning sickness. I don't throw up. I'm my father's daughter and it just doesn't happen unless there's a virus involved. So while I know that makes me automatically luckier than some other women, this has been a difficult pregnancy. I basically sat on the couch for 8 weeks straight unable to eat without feeling sick, and needing to eat because I was so sick. Without throwing up once, I lost 10 pounds.

At 11 weeks, I started spotting. Spotting is a common occurrence for most women in pregnancy, but not me. The only other times I've spotted, I've lost the baby (twice). So you can understand why I ran to the emergency room. There would have been nothing they could do, but I couldn't have slept that night without knowing what was going on. Baby was fine! He was kicking and punching and had a strong heartbeat. That was a relief and it was nice to see my blob of a baby seen at 8 weeks had evolved into a little tiny person just 3 weeks later.

Two weeks later I started spotting again while camping and I felt much more relaxed about it. I had a little more time to feel "prepared" and didn't feel the need for control. I do still worry daily about the baby but what saves my sanity is I can now feel him move. Movement is a good sign! It's just little flutters at this point (nothing like feeling Lucy trying to stand up inside of me while taking a walk at 25 weeks), but it's a relief.

So I'm 15 weeks on Monday, and into my second trimester. I've left the couch and feel much better. I still feel uncomfortably pregnant, but I can eat more than just cereal and I know that I will end up getting more uncomfortable as this pregnancy progresses.

I've always describe pregnancy to my friends like this: your body is a piece of metal, and every pregnancy is a bend in the metal. After pregnancy, your body bends back, and with every pregnancy the metal bends in the same spot--bent metal gets weaker and weaker. Now, I know my body is not "bent" as much as other bodies, but I must just be made of weaker metal than other women! Once my 2nd trimester his with Lucy I was flying high, I felt great. I am still a long way away from feeling the way I did with Lucy.

Explaining this to people has made them smile coyly and snicker "It's a boy!" Honestly, I don't disagree. In the very beginning we were hoping for another girl because Lucy is so easy going, relatively obedient (perfect). But as the weeks go by I've got that "feeling." Mother's intuition is usually right, I think, and I'm expecting (and now hoping for) a boy.